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nah opehe door for anne nelson as she went out.
&a;a;a;quot;good-bye, noah,&a;a;a;quot; she said quietly.
he nodded without speaking. there wasnt anything else to say; they both khat. she turned frohia, closing the door behind her. noah watched her walk to her car, get in, and drive away without looking back. she was a strong wohought to hielf, and he knew where allie got it fro
noah peeked in the living roo saw allie sitting with her head down, theo the back porch, knowing that she o be alone. he sat quietly in his rocker and watched the water drifting by as the nutes passed.
after what seed like ay he heard the back door open. he didnt turn to look at her just then - for so reason huldnt - and he listened as she sat in the chair beside hi
&a;a;a;quot;isorry,&a;a;a;quot; allie said. &a;a;a;quot;i had no idea this would happen.&a;a;a;quot;
noah shook his head. &a;a;a;quot;dont be sorry. we both k was ing in so foror another.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;its still hard.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i kno;quot; he finally turo her, reag for her hand. &a;a;a;quot;is there anything ido to ke it easier?&a;a;a;quot;
she shook her head. &a;a;a;quot;no. not really. i have to do this alone. besides, inot sure what igoing to say to hiyet.&a;a;a;quot;
she looked down and her voice beca softer and a little re distant, as if she were talking to herself. &a;a;a;quot;i guess it depends on hiand how ch he knows. ifther was right, he y have suspis, but he doesnt know anything for sure.&a;a;a;quot;
noah felt a tightness in his stoch. when he finally spoke his &a;a;lt;q&a;a;gt;&a;a;lt;/q&a;a;gt;voice was steady, but shuld hear the pain in it.
&a;a;a;quot;youre not going to tell hiabout us, are you?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i dont know. i really dont. while i was in the living roo i kept asking self what i really wanted inlife.&a;a;a;quot; she squeezed his hand. &a;a;a;quot;and do you know what the answer was? the answer was that i wawo things. first, i want you. i want us. i love you and i always have.&a;a;a;quot;
she took a deep breath befoing on.
&a;a;a;quot;but i also want a happy ending without hurting anyone. and i know that if i stayed, people would be hurt. especially lon. i wasnt lying when i told you that i love hi he doesnt kefeel the sa way you do, but i care for hi and this wouldnt be fair to hi but staying here would also hurtfaly and friends. i would be betraying everyone i know. i dont know if ido that.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;you t live your life for other people. youve got to do whats right for you, even if it hurts so people you love.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i kno;quot; she said, &a;a;a;quot;but no tter what i choose i have to live with it. forever. i have to be able to go forward and not look bayre.you u&a;a;lt;s&a;a;gt;..&a;a;lt;/s&a;a;gt;and that?&a;a;a;quot;
he shook his head and tried to keep his voice steady. &a;a;a;quot;not really. not if it ans losing you. i t do that again.&a;a;a;quot;
she didnt say anything but lowered her head. noah went on: &a;a;a;quot;could you really leavewithout looking back?&a;a;a;quot;
she bit her lip as she answered. her voice was beginning to crack. &a;a;a;quot;i dont know. probably not.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;would that be fair to lon?&a;a;a;quot;
she didnt answer right away. instead she stood, wiped her face, and walked to the edge of the porch where she leaned against the post. she crossed her ar and watched the water before answering quietly. &a;a;a;quot;no.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;it doesnt have to be like this, allie,&a;a;a;quot; he said. &a;a;a;quot;were adults now, we have the choice we didnt have before. were ant to be together. we always have been.&a;a;a;quot;
he walked to her side and put his hand on her shoulder. &a;a;a;quot;i dont want to live the res&a;a;lt;cite&a;a;gt;&a;a;lt;/cite&a;a;gt;t oflife thinking about you and dreang of what ght have been. stay with , allie.&a;a;a;quot;
tears began to fill her eyes. &a;a;a;quot;i dont know if i ,&a;a;a;quot; she finally whispered.
&a;a;a;quot;you . allie... i t livelife happily knowing youre with soone else. that would kill a part of . what we have is rare. its too beautiful to just throw it away.&a;a;a;quot;
she didnt respond. after a nt he gently turned her toward hi took her hands, and stared at her, willio look at hi allie finally faced hiwith ist eyes. after a long silenoah brushed the tears froher cheeks with his fingers, a look of tenderness on his face. his voice caught as he saw what her eyes were telling hi
&a;a;a;quot;youre not going to stay, are you?&a;a;a;quot; he sled weakly. &a;a;a;quot;you want to, but you t.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;oh, noah,&a;a;a;quot; she said as the tears began again, &a;a;a;quot;please try to ua&a;a;lt;cite&a;a;gt;?９9lib.&a;a;lt;/cite&a;a;gt;nd &a;a;a;quot;
he shook his head to stop her. &a;a;a;quot;i know what youre trying to say - isee it in your eyes. but i dont want to uand it, allie. i dont want it to end this way. i dont want it to end at all. but if you leave, we both know well never see each ain.&a;a;a;quot;
she leaned into hiand began to cry harder as noah fought back his own tears.
he ed his ar around her.
&a;a;a;quot;allie, i t force you to stay with . but no tter what happens inlife, ill never fet these lasuple of days with you. ive been dreang about this for years.&a;a;a;quot;
he kissed her gently, and they eraced as they had when she first got out of her car two days ago. finally allie let higo and wiped her tears.
&a;a;a;quot;i have to getthings, noah.&a;a;a;quot;
he didnt go ih her. instead he sat down in the rocker, spent. he watched&a;a;lt;sa&a;a;gt;&a;a;lt;/sa&a;a;gt; her go into the house and listened as the sound of her vents faded into nothing.
she erged frothe house nutes later with everything shed brought and walked toward hiwith her head down. she handed hithe drawing she had doerdayas he took it, he noticed that she hadnt stopped g.
&a;a;a;quot;here, noah. i de this for you.&a;a;a;quot;
noah took the drawing and unrolled it slowly, careful not to tear it.
there were dual iges, one overlapping the other. the ige in the fround, which oupied st of the page, icture of how he looked now, not fourteen years ago. noah noticed that she had penciled in every detail of his face, including the scar. it was alst as if shepied it froa ret photograph.
the sed ige was that of the front of the house. the detail there was also incredible, as if she had sketched it while sittih the oak tree.
&a;a;a;quot;its beautiful, allie. thank you.&a;a;a;quot; he atteted a sle. &a;a;a;quot;i told you that you were an artist.&a;a;a;quot;
she nodded, her face cast downward, her lips pressed together. it was ti for her to go.
they walked to her car slowly, without speaking. when they reached it, noah eraced her again until huld feel the tears welling up in his own eyes. he kissed her lips and both cheeks, then with his finger softly brushed the places hed kissed.
&a;a;a;quot;i love you, allie.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i love you, too.&a;a;a;quot;
noah opened her car door, and they kissed one re ti. then she slid behind the wheel, aking her eyes frohi she put the packet of letters and the pocketbook o her on the seat and fuled for the keys, then turhe ignition. it started easily, and the engine began to turn over iatiently. it was alst ti.
noah pushed her door closed with both hands, and allie rolled down the window. shuld see the scles in his ar, the easy sle, the tanned face. she reached out her hand and noah took it for just a nt, ving his fingers softly against her skin.
&a;a;a;quot;stay with ,&a;a;a;quot; noah uthed without sound, and this for so reason hurt re than allie would have expected. the tears began to fall hard now, but shuldnt speak.
finally, relutly, she looked aulled her hand frohis. she put the car in gear and eased the pedal down just a bit. if she didnt leave now, she never would.
noah backed up just a bit as the car started to roll away. he fell into an alst trance-like state as he felt the reality of the situation.
he watched the car roll slowly forward; he heard the gravel g uhe wheels.
slowly the car began to turn frohi toward the road that would take her back to town. leaving - she was leaving!-and noah felt dizzy at the sight. edging forward.., past hinow...
she waved one last ti without sling before she began to aelerate, and he waved back weakly.
&a;a;a;quot;dont go!&a;a;a;quot; he wao shout as the car ved farther away. but he didnt say anything, and a er the car was gone and the only reining signs of her were the tracks that her car had left behind.
he stood there without ving for a long ti. as quickly as she had e, she was gone.
forever this ti. forever.
he closed his eyes then and watched her leave once re, her car ving steadily away frohi taking his heart with her.
but, like her ther, he realized sadly, she never looked back.
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