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allie woke early the forced by the incessant chirping of starlings, and rubbed her eyes, feeling the stiffness in her body. she hadnt slept well, waking after every drea and she reered seeing the hands of the clo different positions during the night, as if verifying the passage of ti.
shed slept in the soft shirt hed given her, and she slled hionce again while thinking about the evening theyd spent together. the easy laughter aion ca back to her, and she especially reered the way hed talked about her painting.
it was so ued, yet uplifting, and as the words began to replay in her nd, she realized how sorry she would have been had she decided not to see hiagain.
she looked out the window and watched the chattering birds search for food in early light. noah, she knew, had always been a person who greeted dawn in his own way. she knew he liked to kayak or oe, and she reered the one shed spent with hiin his oe, watg the sun e up. shed had to sneak out her window to do it because her parents wouldnt allow it, but she hadnt been caught and she reered how noah had slipped his araround her and pulled her close as dawn began to unfold. &a;a;a;quot;look there,&a;a;a;quot; hed whispered, and shed watched her first suh her head on his shoulder, w if anythinuld be better than what was happening at that nt.
and as she got out of bed to take her bath, feeling thld floor beh her feet, she wondered if hed beehis watg another day begin, thinking sohow he probably had.
she was right.
noahbefore the sun and dressed quickly, sa jeans as last night, undershirt,flannel shirt, blue jacket, and boots. he brushed his teeth befoing downstairs, drank a quick glass of lk, and grabbed two biscuits on the way out the door. after clegreeted hiwith uple of sloppy licks, he walked to the dock where his kayak was stored. he liked to let the river work its gic, loosening up his scles, warng his body, clearing his nd.
the old kayak, well used and river stained, hung on two rusty hooks attached to his dock just above the waterlio keep off the barnacles. he lifted it free frothe hooks a at his feet, ied it quickly, then took it to the bank. in uple of seasoned ves long since stered by habit, he had it ier w its streawith hielf as the pilot and engine.
the air waol on his skin, alst crisp, and the sky was a haze of differenlors: black directly above hilike a untain peak, then blues of infinite range, being lighter until it t the horizon, where gray took its place. he took a few deep breaths, slling pirees and brackish water, and began to reflect. this had been part of what hed ssed st when he had lived up north. because of the long hours at work, there had been little ti to spend oer. caing, hiking, paddling on rivers, dating, w ... sothing had had to go. for the st part hed been able to explore new jerseys tryside on foot whenever hed had extra ti, but in fourteen years he hadnt oed or kayaked o had been one of the first things hed done wheurned.
theres sothing special, alst stical, about spending dawn oer, he thought to hielf, and he did it alst every day now.
sunny and clear old and bitter, it never ttered as he paddled in rhythto si his head, w above water thlor of iron. he saw a faly of turtles resting on a partially subrged log and watched as a heron broke for flight, skiing just above the water before vanishing into the silver twilight that preceded sunrise.
he paddled out to the ddle of the creek, where he watched the e glow begin to stretch across the water. he stopped paddling hard, giving just enough effort to keep hiin place, staring until light began to break through the trees. he always liked to pause at daybreak - there was a nt when the vieectacular, as if the world were being bain. afterward he began to paddle hard, w off the tension, preparing for the day.
while he did that, questions danced in his nd like water drops in a frying pan. he wondered about lon and what type of n he was, wondered about their relationship. most of all, though, he wondered about allie and why she had e.
by the ti he reached ho, he felt renewed. cheg his watch, he was surprised to find that it had taken two hours. ti allayed tricks out there, though, aopped questioning it nths ago.
he hung the kayak to dry, stretched for uple of nutes, ao the shed where he stored his oe. he carried it to the bank, leaving it a few feet frothe water, and as he turoward the house, he hat his legs were still a little stiff.
the haze hadnt burned off yet, and he khe stiffness in his legs usually predicted rain. he looked to the western sky and saw storclouds, thid heavy, far off but definitely present. the winds werent blowing hard, but they were bringing the clouds closer. frothe looks of the he didnt want to be outside when they got here. da. how ch ti did he have? a few hours, ybe re. maybe less.
he showered, put on new jeans, a red shirt, and blacwboy boots, brushed his hair, a downstairs to the kit. he did the dishes frothe night before, picked up a little around the house, de hielf sofee, ao the porch. the sky was darker now, and he checked the baroter. steady, but it would start dropping soon. the western sky prosed that.
hed learned long ago to never uite the weather, and he wondered if it was a good idea to go out. the rain huld deal with; lightning was a different story. especially if he was oer. a oe was no place to be whericity sparked in hud air.
he finished hiffee, putting off the decision until later. he went to the toolshed and found his ax. after cheg the blade by pressing his thu to it, he sharpe with a whetstoil it was ready. &a;a;a;quot;a dull ax is re dangerous than a sharp one,&a;a;a;quot; his daddy used to say.
he spent the wenty nutes splitting and stag logs. he did it easily, his strokes effit, and didnt break a sweat. he set a few logs off to the side for later and brought theinside when he was finished, putting theby the fireplace.
he looked at allies painting again and reached out to touch it, bringing back the feelings o&a;a;lt;s&a;a;gt;..&a;a;lt;/s&a;a;gt;f disbelief at seeing her again. god, what was it about her that de hifeel this way? even after all these years? what sort of power did she have over hi
he finally turned away, shaking his head, a back to the porch. he checked the baroter again. it hadhen he looked at his watch. allie should be here soon.
allie had finished her bath and was already dressed. earlier shed opehe window to check the teerature. it wasnld outside, and shed decided on a crealored spring dress with long sleeves and a high neck. it was soft and fortable, ybe a little snug, but it looked good, and she had selected so white sandals that tched.
she spent the walking around downtown. the depression had taken its toll here, but shuld see the signs of prosperity beginning to work their way back. the masonic theater, the oldest active theater iry, looked a little re run-down but was still operating with uple of ret vies. fort totten park l&a;a;lt;s&a;a;gt;..&a;a;lt;/s&a;a;gt;ooked exactly the sa as it had fourteen years ago, and she assud the kids who played on the swings after school looked the sa as well. she sled at the ry then, thinking back to when things were siler. or at least had seed to be.
now, it seed, nothing was sile. it seed so irobable, everything falling into place as it had, and she wondered what she would have been doing now, had she never seeicle in the paper. it wasnt very difficult to igine, because her routines seldoged. it was wednesday, which ant bridge at the try club, then on to the junior wons league, where they would probably be arranging another fund-raiser for the private school or hospital. after that, a visit with her ther, then ho to get ready for dinner with lon, because he de it a point to leave work by seven. it was the one night a week she saw hiregularly.
she suppressed a feeling of sadness about that, hoping that one day he would ge. he had often prosed to and usually followed through for a few weeks before drifting back to the sa schedule. &a;a;a;quot;i t tonight, honey,&a;a;a;quot; he would always explain. &a;a;a;quot;isorry, but i t. letke it up to you later.&a;a;a;quot;
she didnt like tue with hiabout it, stly because she knew he was telling the truth. trial work was dending, both beforehand and during, yet shuldnt help w sotis why he had spent so ch ti c her if he didnt want to spend the ti with her now.
she passed an art gallery, alst walked by it in her preoupation, then turned a back. she paused at the door for a sed, surprised at how long it had been since shed been i least three years, ybe longer. why had she avoided it?
she went inside - it had opened with the rest of the shops on front street - and browsed ang the paintings. many of the artists were local, and there was a strong sea flavor to their works. lots of o ses, sandy beaches, pelis, old sailing ships, tugboats, piers, and seagulls. but st of all, waves. waves of every shape, size, and aginable, and after a while they all looked alike. the artists were either uninspired or lazy, she thought.
on one wall though, there were a few paintings that re suited her tastes. all were by an artist shed never heard of, elayn, and st appeared to have been inspired by the architecture of the greek islands. in the painting she liked the best, she he artist had purposely exaggerated the se with sller-than-life figures, wide lines, and heavy sweeps olor, as if not pletely focused. yet thlors were vivid and swirling, drawing the eye in, alst direg what it should see . it was dynac, dratic. the re she thought about it, the re she liked it, and she sidered buying it before she realized that she liked it because it rended her of her own work. she exa re closely and thought to herself that ybe noah was right. maybe she should start painting again.
at hirty allie left the gallery ao hoffn-lane, a departnt store downtown. it took a few o find what she was looking for, but it was there, in the school supply se. paper, drawing chalk, and pencils, not high quality but good enough. it wasnt painting, but it was a start, and she was excited by the ti she got back to her roo she sat at the desk and started w: nothing specific, just getting the feel of it agaiing shapes anlors flow frothe ry of her youth. after a few nutes of abstra, she did a rough sketch of the street se as seen froher roo azed at how easily it ca. it was alst as if shed opped.
she exa when she was finished, pleased with the effort. she wondered what to tryand finally decided. since she didnt have a del, she visualized it in her head before starting. and though it was harder thareet se, it ca naturally and began to take for
minutes passed quickly. she worked steadily but checked the ti frequently so she woulde, and she fi a little before noon. it had taken alst two hours, but the e surprised her. it looked as though it had taken a great deal longer. after rolling it up, she put it in a bag anllected the rest of her things. on her way out the door, she looked at herself in the rror, feeling oddly relaxed, ly sure why.
dain and out the door. as she left she heard a voice behind her.
&a;a;a;quot;miss?&a;a;a;quot;
she turned, knowing it was directed at her. the nager. sa n as yesterday, a curious look on his face.
&a;a;a;quot;yes?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;you had so calls last night.&a;a;a;quot;
she was shocked. &a;a;a;quot;i did?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;yes. all froa mr. haond.&a;a;a;quot;
oh, god. &a;a;a;quot;lon called?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;yes, a four tis. i talked to hiwhen he called the sed ti. he was rather ed about you. he said he was your fiancé.&a;a;a;quot;
she sled weakly, trying to hide what she was thinking. four tis? four? whauld that an? what if sothing had happened bae?
&a;a;a;quot;did he say anything? is it an ergency?&a;a;a;quot;
he shook his head quickly. &a;a;a;quot;he really didnt say, ss, but he didion anything. actually, he sounded re ed about you, though.&a;a;a;quot;
good, she thought. thats good. and then, just as suddenly, a pang in her chest.
why the urgency? why so ny calls? had she said anythierday? why would he be so persistent? it letely unlike hi is there any way huld have found out? no... that was iossible. unless soone saw her here yesterday and called ... but they would have had to follow her out to noahs. no one would have dohat.
she had to call hinow; no way to get around it. but she didnt want to, strangely. this was her ti, and she end it doing what she wanted. she hadnt planned on speaking to hiuntil later, and for so reason she felt alst as if talking to hinow would spoil the day. besides, what was she going to say? hould she explain being out so late? a late dinner and then a walk? maybe. or a vie? or...
&a;a;a;quot;miss?&a;a;a;quot;
alst noon, she thought. where would he be? his office, probably... no. iurt, she suddenly realized, and iediately felt as if shed been released froshackles.
there was no way shuld talk to hi even if she wao. she was surprised by her feelings. she shouldhis way, she knew, a didnt bother her. she looked at her watch, ag no;quot;is it really alst twelve?&a;a;a;quot;
the nager nodded after looking at the clock. &a;a;a;quot;yes, a quarter till, actually.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;unfortunately,&a;a;a;quot; she started, &a;a;a;quot;hes iurt right now and i t reach hi if he does call againuld you tell hiishopping and that ill try to call hilater?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;ourse,&a;a;a;quot; he answered. shuld see the question in his eyes, though: but where were you last night?
he had knowly when shed e in. too late for a single won in this sll town, she was sure.
&a;a;a;quot;thank you,&a;a;a;quot; she said, sling. &a;a;a;quot;id appreciate it.&a;a;a;quot;
two nutes later she was in her car, driving to noahs, anticipating the day, largely uned about the phone calls. yesterday she would have been, and she wondered what that ant.
as she was driving over the drawbridge less than four nutes after shed left the inn, lon called frothurthouse.
noah was sitting in his rocker, drinking sweet tea, listening for the car, when he finally heard it turn up the drive. he went around front and watched the car pull up and park beh the oak tree again. sa spot as yesterday. clebarked a greeting at her car door, tail wagging, and he saw allie wave froihe car.
she stepped out, patted cleon the head while shoed at her, then turned, sling at noah as he walked toward her. she looked re relaxed thaerday, re fident, and again he felt a slight shock at seeing her. it was different froyesterday, though. newer feelings now, not sily ries anyre. if anything, his attra for her had grown stro, re intense, and it de hifeel a little nervous in her presence.
allie t hihalfway, carrying a sll bag in one hand. she surprised hiby kissing higently on the cheek, her free hand lingering at his waist after she pulled back.
&a;a;a;quot;hi,&a;a;a;quot; she said, radian her eyes, &a;a;a;quot;wheres the surprise?&a;a;a;quot;
he relaxed a little, thanking god for that. &a;a;a;quot;not even a good afternoon or how was yht?&a;a;a;quot;
she sled. patience had never been one of her stro attributes. &a;a;a;quot;fine. good afternoon. how was yht? and wheres the surprise?&a;a;a;quot;
he chuckled lightly, then paused. &a;a;a;quot;allie, ive got so bad ne;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;&a;a;lt;bdo&a;a;gt;?９９lib?&a;a;lt;/bdo&a;a;gt;what?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;..quot;i was going to take you soplace, but with those clouds ing in, inot sure we should go.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;why?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;the stor well be outside and ght get wet. besides, there ght be lightning.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;its not raini. how far is it?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;up the creek about a le.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;and ive never been there before?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;not when it was like this.&a;a;a;quot;
she thought for a sed while she looked around. when she spoke, her voice was deterned.
&a;a;a;quot;then well go. i dont care if it rains.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;are you sure?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;absolutely.&a;a;a;quot;
he looked at the clouds again, noting their approach. &a;a;a;quot;then wed better go no;quot; he said. &a;a;a;quot; i bring that in for you?&a;a;a;quot;
she nodded, handing her bag to hi and he jogged to the house and brought it inside, where he placed it on a chair in the living roo then he grabbed so bread and put it in a bag, bringing it with hias he left the house.
they walked to the oe, allie beside hi a little closer thaerday.
&a;a;a;quot;what exactly is this place?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;youll see.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;youre not even going to givea hint?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;well,&a;a;a;quot; he said, &a;a;a;quot;do you reer wheook the oe out and watched the sun e up?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i thought about it thisi reer it decry.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;what yoing to see today kes what you saw then seeordinary.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;i guess i should feel special.&a;a;a;quot;
he took a few steps before responding.
&a;a;a;quot;you are special,&a;a;a;quot; he finally said, and the way he said it de her wonder if he wao add sothing else. but he didnt, and allie sled a little beflang away. as she did, she felt the wind in her fad noticed it had picked up sihethey reached the dock a nt later. after tossing the bag in the oe, noah quickly checked to ke sure he hadnt ssed anything, then slid the oe to the water.
&a;a;a;quot; i do anything?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;no, just get in.&a;a;a;quot;
after she clied in, he pushed the oe farther into the water, close to the dock.
then he gracefully stepped off the doto the oe, plag his feet carefully to prevent the oe frocapsizing. allie was iressed by his agility, knowing that what he had done so quickly and easily was harder than it looked.
allie sat at the front of the oe, fag backward. he had said sothing about ssing the view whearted to paddle, but shed shaken her head, saying she was fihe way she was. and it was true.
shuld see everything she really wao see if she turned her head, but st of all she wao watoah. it was hished e to see, not the creek. his shirt was unbutto the top, and shuld see his chest scles flex with every stroke. his sleeves were rolled up, too, and shuld see the scles in his ar bulging slightly. his scles were well developed there fropaddling every
artistic, she thought. theres sothing alst artistic about hiwhen he does this.
sothing natural, as if being oer were beyond his trol, part of a gene passed on to hifroso obscure hereditary pool. wheched hi she was rended of how the early explorers st have looked when theyd first dvered this area.
shuldnt think of anyone else who retely reseled hi he licated, alst tradictory in so ny ways, yet sile, a strangely erotibination. on the surface he was a try boy, ho frowar, and he probably saw hielf in those ter. yet there was so ch re to hi perhaps it was the poetry that de hidifferent, or perhaps it was the values his father had instilled in hi growing up. either way, he seed to savor life re fully than others appeared to, and that was what had first attracted her to hi
&a;a;a;quot;what are you thinking?&a;a;a;quot;
she felt her insides ju just a bit as noahs voice brought her back to the present. she realized she hadnt said ch siheyd started, and she appreciated the silence he had allowed her. hed always been siderate like that.
&a;a;a;quot;good things,&a;a;a;quot; she answered quietly, and she saw in his eyes that he knew she was thinking about hi she liked the fact that he k, and she hoped he had been thinking about her as well.
she uood then that sothing was stirring within her, as it had so ny years ago. watg hi watg his body ve, de her feel it. and as their eyes lingered for a sed, she felt the heat in her ned breasts, and she flushed, turning away before he noticed.
&a;a;a;quot;how ch farther?&a;a;a;quot; she asked.
&a;a;a;quot;another half le or so. not any re than that.&a;a;a;quot;
a pause. then, she said: &a;a;a;quot;its pretty out here. so . so quiet. its alst like going ba ti.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;in a way it is, i think. the creek flows frothe forest. theres not a single farbetween here and where it starts, and the water is pure as rain. its probably as pure as its ever been.&a;a;a;quot;
she leaoward hi &a;a;a;quot;tell , noah, what do you reer st frothe suer we spent together?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;all of it.&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;anything in particular?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;no,&a;a;a;quot; he said.
&a;a;a;quot;you dont reer?&a;a;a;quot;
he answered after a nt, quietly, seriously. &a;a;a;quot;no, its not that. its not what youre thinking. i was serious when i said all of it. ireer every nt we were together, and in each of thethere was sothing wonderful. i t really piy oi that ant re than any other. the entire suer erfect, the kind of suer everyone should have. hould i piont over another?
&a;a;a;quot;poets often describe love as aion that we t trol, ohat overwhel logid os what it was like for . i didnt plan on falling in love with you, and i doubt if you planned on falling in love with . but once we t, it was clear that her of uuld trol what was happening to us. we fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, sothing rare aiful was created. for , love like that has happened only once, and thats why every nute we spent together has been seared (brand) inry. ill never fet a single nt of it.&a;a;a;quot;
allie stared at hi no one had ever said anything like that to her before. ever. she didnt know what to say and stayed silent, her face hot.
&a;a;a;quot;isorry if i de you feel unfortable, allie. i dido. but that suer has stayed withand probably always will. i know it t be the sa between us, but that doeshe way i felt about you then.&a;a;a;quot;
she spoke quietly, feeling war &a;a;a;quot;it didnt keunfortable, noah ... its just that i dont ever hear things like that. what you said was beautiful. it takes a poet to talk the way you do, and like i said, youre the only poet ive ever t.&a;a;a;quot;
peaceful silence desded on the an osprey cried sowhere in the distance. a llet splashed he bank. the paddle ved rhythcally, causing baffles that rocked the boat ever so slightly. the breeze had stopped, and the clouds grew blacker as the oved toward so unknowination.
allie noticed it all, every sound, every thought. her senses had e alive, invigorating her, and she felt her nd drifting through the last few weeks. she thought abbr&a;a;gt;&a;a;lt;/abbr&a;a;gt;bout the ay ing here had caused her. the shock at seeing the article, the sleepless nights, her short teer during daylight. eveerday she had been afraid and wao run away. the tension was gone now, every bit of it, replaced by sothing else, and she was glad about that as she rode in silen the old red oe.
she felt strangely satisfied that shed e, pleased that noah had turned into the type of hought he would, pleased that she would live forever with that knowledge. she had seen too ny n in the past few years destroyed by war, or ti, or even ney. it took strength to hold on to inner passion, and noah had dohat.
this was a workers world, not a poets, and people would have a hard ti uanding noah. arica was in full swing now, all the papers said so, and people were rushing forward, leaving behind the horrors of war. she uood the reasons, but they were rushing, like lon, toward long hours and profits, ing the things that brought beauty to the world.
who did she know in raleigh who took ti off to fix a house? or read whitn or eliot, finding iges in the nd, thoughts of the spirit? or hunted dawn frothe bow of a oe? these werent the things that drove society, but she felt they shouldreated as uniortant. they de living worthwhile. to her it was the sa with art, though she had realized it only upon ing here.
or rather, reered it. she had known it once before, and again she cursed herself for fetting sothing as iortant as creatiy. painting was what she was ant to do, she was sure of that now. her feelings this had fird it, and she khat whatever happened, she was going to give it another shot. a fair shot, no tter what anyone said.
would lon ence her painting? she reered showing hione of her paintings uple of nths after they had first started going out. it was an abstract painting and was ant to inspire thought. in a way, it reseled the painting above noahs fireplace, the one noah uood pletely, though it y have been a touch less passionate. lon had stared at it, studied it alst, and then had asked her what it was supposed to be. she hadnt bothered to answer.
she shook her head then, knowing she wasnt being pletely fair. she loved lon, and always had, for other reasons. though he wasnt noah, lon was a good n, the kind of n shed always known she would rry. with lon there would be no surprises, and there was fort in knowing what the future would bring. he would be a kind husband to her, and she would be a good wife. she would have a ho near friends and faly, children, a respectable pla society. it was the kind of life shed always expected to live, the kind of life she wao live. and though she wouldnt describe theirs as a passionate relationship, she had vinced herself long ago that this wasnt necessary to be fulfilled in a relationship, even with a persoeo rry. passion would fade in ti, and things like panionship and patibility would take its place. she and lon had this, and she had assud this was all she needed.
but now, as she watched noah rowing, she questiohis basic assution. he exuded sexuality ihing he did, everything he was, and she caught herself thinking about hiin a way that an engaged won shouldnt. she tried not to stare and glanced away often, but the easy way he ved his body de it hard to keep her eyes frohifor long.
&a;a;a;quot;here we are,&a;a;a;quot; noah said as he guided the oe toward so trees he bank.
allie looked around, not seeing anything. &a;a;a;quot;where is it?&a;a;a;quot;
&a;a;a;quot;here,&a;a;a;quot; he said again, pointing the oe at an old tree that had fallen over, obsg an opening alst pletely hidden froview.
he guided the oe around the tree, and both of thehad to lower their heads to keep frobuing the
&a;a;a;quot;close your eyes,&a;a;a;quot; he whispered, and allie did, bringing her hands to her face. she heard the baffles of the water ahe vent of the oe as he propelled it forward, away frothe pull of the creek.
&a;a;a;quot;okay,&a;a;a;quot; he finally said after hed stopped paddling. &a;a;a;quot;youopen theno;quot;
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